How to Cope When You Get Home…
So. You’re back home after having the time of your life. It’s cold and dull and everything is the same as when you left (perhaps a little rainier). You long for the sunshine and the sights and smells of new countries.
But never fear help is at hand with our totally irreverent and not-to-be-taken-seriously guide to coping on your return. Here are just a few tips to make you feel less nostalgic and as if you are still a traveller – without getting on another plane:
- Turn your power shower at home onto cold- nay- freezing when you get in each morning - alternatively replace it with a hose that dribbles only a little water so your hair will take at least twenty minutes to get wet.
- Have your little brother plant large unidentifiable creepy crawlies in your bed or shower when you least expect it- or in your shoes for a really pleasant start to the morning.
- Buy a mosquito net and make sure you tuck it in well at night. Everyone will think you are crazy but when that lone moth gets in and annoys everyone else you will feel safe and secure under your net.
- Get everyone you know to catch the same bus as you thus cresting the cramped uncomfortable bus rides you are used to. If no-one is free to help just stand on every journey clinging on for dear life.
- Shops are 'into exotic foods' these days so ask your mum to buy the most weird and wonderful thing she can find then hide the labels so you have no idea what you are consuming.
- Get someone to drop you off blindfolded in the middle of no-where so you can re-experience that lost helpless feeling – better still do it in an area well known for thick country accents so the language barrier will remain when you ask for directions.
- Haggle, ok so Topshop probably won’t give you that skirt for £15 instead of £25 but you may find the odd bit of cheek gets you discount somewhere.
- Turn your heating up high with all your clothes on to experience the heat you miss and that lovely sweaty feeling you just can’t get during a British winter.
- Keep all your clothes in a backpack and make sure the one item you want to wear is shoved right in the bottom of the pack, also rotate the same three items for months at a time – hand washing them and drying them over the bath when they start to smell.
- Sleep with 17 other strangers in your room and make sure they all suffer from sleep talking- walking and excessive snoring.
Now aren’t you glad you’re back?!
